THE LONE GUNMEN Ep. #2x01: "Blind Mice" Written by: Doug Skiles TEASER OPEN JIMMY (V.O.) Previously on The Lone Gunmen. What follows is a one-minute recap of the events in 'All About Yves,' concluding with the boys at Langly's laptop down in the vault. They watch with mounting dread as the elevator comes down to their level, and... out step the dapper, strangely polite man who's been after Yves (from here on referred to as the POLITE MAN), Yves in handcuffs, and Morris Fletcher, plus a group of armed thugs, all wearing black, down to their helmets and the strange masks that cover their faces up to their eyes, hiding their identities. And now, we're where we left off. FADE TO BLACK FADE IN INT. FENIX ATLANTIC - SUBLEVEL 16 In the main vault room, the Gunmen stand in a row, hands hanging in front of them, cuffed. Naturally, they're still in blueface, with pink dots scattered across their faces. They look somewhat less than pleased with the current state of affairs. Yves stands slightly apart, her hands in the same position. A guard is patting her down, lightly going over her leather coat. Pausing occassionally to dig through the pockets, inside and out. Other guards stand off to the side of the man at work. Langly's laptop is still on the table. Technicians, men in lab coats, are at the vault door. They're sticking wires into it, typing things in on laptops, flicking fuses against one another and producing sparks in the process. This isn't hacking, it's assault by technology. They're going to BREAK the door open - in the quietest way possible. Finally the guard working Yves over is down to her ankles. He stands, and looks squarely at Yves, letting out a sigh from beneath his black mask. GUARD Nothing, sir. We pull back to reveal the Polite Man and Morris Fletcher, up by the elevator. Morris turns to the Polite Man, at his side. MORRIS The only reason I agreed to work with you is because you said you could get back my disk. The polite man remains calm, speaking in his usual, strangely pleasant tone. POLITE MAN If you don't find our current efforts satisfactory, you're always welcome to search her yourself. Morris looks at Yves for a moment, almost considering. She smirks. He shakes his head and returns to his conversation. MORRIS Last time I went near this tramp, she had chemicals planted on her neck, of all places. How do I know she's not wearing some kind of gas that'll release from her lips or, uh, or some darts that pop out of her chest, or some other fun toy? POLITE MAN Relax. If she isn't wearing the item, we'll likely find it in the vault. Failing that, we'll talk to her. MORRIS Well, then we'd better find it. I don't think she's the type that's very forthcoming. The Polite Man nods to the guards. POLITE MAN Place our guests into confinement elsewhere. For the time being, at least. The gun-toting guards obediently lead Yves, along with the Gunmen, towards the elevator and out of the room. POLITE MAN Our technicians should be into the vault within minutes. They have the knowledge to bypass the system's traps. Morris nods, nervous. FADE OUT END TEASER OPENING THEME OPEN ACT I FADE IN INT. FENIX ATLANTIC - CELL At gunpoint, the boys, along with Yves, are shoved roughly into a stark room. Everyone is still cuffed. This place looks ideal for a prison cell, save for the fact that it's incredibly clean. The room is a cube of concrete, all smooth and fresh as new. Only one overhead and a small window in the door provide any light. After the door slams shut behind them, everyone remains silent until the sound of footsteps fades off. Yves stands at the door, listening until there's nothing. YVES I think they're gone. At least, most of them. Sounds like there's still a guard around the corner, but he's out of earshot. LANGLY Good! Langly leaps up, immediately starting towards Yves. LANGLY Then maybe you'd like to tell us what the hell you've gotten us into THIS TIME! YVES Calm down. LANGLY Not until we get answers. FROHIKE (to himself) Oh, man. The other two men turn to look at Frohike, who's leaning against a far wall. FROHIKE Jimmy was right. Fletcher was trained in lies, we never should've trusted him. YVES Perhaps now you'll learn to listen to Jimmy more often. LANGLY Yeah well, I'd settle for listening to some info outta you. You owe us. Yves remains cold. YVES I don't owe you anything. Frohike scoffs, standing up to his full diminuitive height. FROHIKE On the contrary, I'd say you owe us everything. We're only here because you stole Fletcher's disk. YVES No, you're here because you three decided to investigate ME. The boys all look a little sheepish at that. YVES I warned you all to stay out of this. What business of yours is my life anyway? LANGLY Plenty, if you're an agent of Romeo 61. YVES There IS NO Romeo 61. It's just a story. An old wives' tale that Fletcher used to set you on my trail. And you all fell for it. Now the Gunmen look even more sheepish. YVES They set the whole thing up from the start. That wasn't even my hotel room you searched. (quick beat, before they can ask) Jimmy told me. He was with me shortly before all of this. I - (hushed) I gave him the disk. FROHIKE Okay. So what's on it? YVES Disinformation campaign materials. A list of people brainwashed into believing that they're UFO abductees. People whose minds have been destroyed for the sake of throwing investigators of such matters off the trail. BYERS People like Mulder. Yves nods. YVES I told Jimmy that Agent Mulder is the one who should have it. Another beat. Byers, looking down, shakes his head. BYERS Doesn't make sense. If this was all a trick to lead Mr. Fletcher to the disk, what's in the vault? What is this place? Yves turns away, facing the wall. YVES I don't know. FROHIKE (sarcastic) Yeah, I'll bet. Yves turns and gives him a dirty look. Byers steps forward, taking control of the situation. BYERS All right. Let's not get at each other's throats. We need to concentrate on getting out of here. LANGLY (sarcastic) Oh yeah? And how do you expect to do THAT? BYERS (to Yves) Yves, give us your lock picks. Yves turns back towards the group, raising a suspicious eyebrow at Byers. YVES What makes you think I have lock picks? Byers shrugs. BYERS You always have lock picks. And we need them to get out of these cuffs. Now, come on. Frohike gestures up and down her suit. FROHIKE Yeah. You know... the picks, that you keep in those, uh, that one... well, you know. Yves rolls her eyes. YVES I keep them in my right shoulder pouch. She bends over sideways slightly, reaching her hands up to her right shoulder. There, in a tiny, invisible pouch under her jacket flap, she pulls out a couple of small pieces of metal. Lock picks. She tosses them at Frohike's feet, her expression still dead calm. Frohike smiles. FROHIKE (smiling) I can't believe that worked. Now Yves' eyes widen. YVES What? FROHIKE (grinning) I didn't know you had any lock picks! BYERS Actually, none of us did. Yves looks shocked. She looks from each Gunmen to the next, slightly angered, mostly confused. YVES (confused) Then... how did you... Byers smiles slightly as he bends down to the ground in a crouch, picking up the picks in his hands. BYERS (smiling) Seemed like a good guess. Someone like you always carries lock picks. Yves stands staring at him, her jaw open in disbelief. Langly grins at Byers. LANGLY (grinning) Man, that was AWESOME. (to Yves) So, what other goodies you sneak in with? Yves purses her lips for a moment before answering. YVES There's a mouth dart in my left shoulder pouch. It's filled with some chemicals that should stun anyone for a few minutes. And... She reaches up, into her mouth, and pulls out a voice-altering retainer mouthpiece, holding it up for all to see. BYERS That's it? YVES That's it. Only what I could carry in concealment. Byers nods. LANGLY That'll never be enough to get past all those goons. FROHIKE Maybe. We don't even know where they've been stationed. Byers sighs. BYERS Regardless, it'll have to do. CUT TO - EXT. LONE GUNMEN HQ - NIGHT Jimmy's Trans Am pulls up, with Kimmy in the driver's seat. He shoves it into park, and climbs out, walking around to the opposite side. There, he opens the passenger door, and an unconscious Jimmy falls out on top of him. KIMMY Oof! Kimmy worms his way out from underneath Jimmy, and then grabs the big guy by his arms, dragging him over towards the door. Once there, he leans Jimmy up against the steel door, and pats him on the head gingerly, turning to tiptoe away... JIMMY (O.S., weakly) Hey... Kimmy turns back towards him briefly. KIMMY (very quickly) No need to thank me, I'm sure you need your rest. Now Kimmy starts to really hustle away. JIMMY No... HEY! Kimmy freezes in his tracks. Again, he jerks back towards Jimmy, only to see that Jimmy is already easing his way to his feet. He stumbles a little towards Kimmy, leaning on the concrete wall for support. He's still groggy. JIMMY Need your help... KIMMY I've helped enough! Kimmy turns to go, again, but Jimmy picks up the pace of his stumbling. Just as Kimmy starts to race off, Jimmy slams into Kimmy from behind, and they both fall over. Crunch! Jimmy lands on top of Kimmy, having inadvertantly tackled the other man. KIMMY Get off! JIMMY Sorry... Jimmy against pushes against the fall next to him, and stumbles up to his feet. Then, he reaches over and grabs Kimmy's ear, tugging on it. KIMMY Ow! Hey! JIMMY Sorrier... Jimmy leads Kimmy by the ear back towards to the door to the inside. KIMMY Not again... CUT TO - INT. LONE GUNMEN HQ - NIGHT The door buzzes, and Jimmy steps in, Kimmy in tow. Poor Kimmy is still being yanked along by Jimmy. KIMMY Cut it out! I already helped you! JIMMY And I need your help again. I can't go in there and try to rescue the guys alone. KIMMY Rescue? That's why Yves went in, and I sure didn't see her come back out! Take a clue, ya big ox. You go in, they'll bust you too. JIMMY I don't care. Maybe we can get help. Like that FBI guy, uh, Fox Mulder? KIMMY Who? JIMMY He e-mailed the guys the other day. Check the server. Uh, his address was... Fox... 2001, or something. Kimmy sits down at Langly's computer and brings it up quickly. KIMMY Okay, yeah. And? JIMMY Can you find a phone number to go with it? KIMMY Piece of cake. A flurry of key presses later, Kimmy brings up a number. KIMMY Here you go. Jimmy nods, picking up the phone and dialing it in. He listens momentarily. JIMMY It's a machine. (beat) Says he's out of town. I guess he musta left right after I met with him. KIMMY Then I guess my work here is done... He gets out of the chair and starts for the door... JIMMY Hold up! C'mon, we can do this. We gotta get 'em out, we just need a plan. Kimmy spins. KIMMY Like what? You can't just go charging in there without a weapon or anything. Jimmy shakes his head. JIMMY The guys don't have any weapons. And Yves is usually the one who bails them out when they get arrested or something. Like... uh, that one time, when Langly and Byers and I were captured by the government, and she had to trade- (beat, realizing) Trade. That's it. KIMMY Trade? Jimmy starts to fumble around in his shirt pocket. JIMMY We'll trade them! Yves and the guys... (pulling out a disk) ...for this. It's the disk that Yves handed to Jimmy - Fletcher's disk on the UFO abductee disinformation campaign. KIMMY I don't think that's such a good idea. JIMMY Why not? KIMMY You said the guy who's after Yves just wants HER, right? It's only his pal that wants the disk, so I don't think the man in charge is going to care if you go in there swinging your software. JIMMY Then we'll just have to convince Mr. Fletcher to make the trade. KIMMY And go against the thug? Jimmy shrugs. JIMMY He lies for a living anyway. What's it to him if he lies to someone else? So long as he gets his disk back, he should be happy. Kimmy still doesn't look too convinced. CUT TO - INT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - SUBLEVEL 16 A technician whispers into the Polite Man's ear. The man smiles. Morris looks on, still anixious. MORRIS Well? Are they ready yet? The Polite Man nods. The technicians back away as the Polite Man and Morris step up to the vault. The Polite Man pushes lightly, and it swings open with a surprising ease, to reveal.... Nothing. We can see inside the vault from this angle, and though it is indeed quite large ...and also noticably empty. The Polite Man's face falls. Morris looks equally disconcerned. POLITE MAN Well. Empty. He grins in disbelief and shakes his head. POLITE MAN (smiling) They must have forseen this. MORRIS Who? The Polite Man sighs. POLITE MAN It doesn't matter. (to technicians) I want you to comb every other sublevel in this facility until you find... something. I don't honestly care what. Just be sure to notify me when you do. Okay? They nod and scurry towards the elevator. Morris grabs the Polite Man by the arm. MORRIS (low) Aren't we forgetting something here? My disk. I need it. Find it, make it and make it snappy. I've got a hot date with a gorgeous redhead in the wee hours of the morning, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss it just because you made me spend a day playing around with Yippy, Yappy, and Yahooie. A beat. POLITE MAN Mr. Fletcher, rest assured that we will find your disk. We are men of our word. He steps away, leaving Morris looking increasingly pissed. CUT TO - INT. FENIX ATLANTIC - CELL Next to the door, Yves is pressed against the wall. Away from the door, on the far wall, the Gunmen are pressing themselves up to the concrete. Frohike nods to Yves, and she nods back. When she speaks, it's in the voice of Jimmy. YVES (loud, as Jimmy) Ha-ha! You nimrods nabbed the wrong guy! LOSERS! A shadow is cast over the tiny window in the door as a guard steps in front of it. GUARD (O.S.) What? Who said that? YVES (loud, as Jimmy) I did, punk! That girl you grabbed was really a guy! Stick that in your pipe and puff on it, jerkboy! The guard opens the door just a crack... And Yves grabs the door, FLINGING it open and delivering a high kick to the guard's face! He stumbles backwards, his rifle clattering to the ground as she leaps out into the hall, punching him in the throat and knocking him down. GUARD (faintly) Uuhhhh... The boys follow Yves out into the hall. INT. FENIX ATLANTIC - HALLWAY FROHIKE Uh, good work. Yves gives him a sideways glance as she pulls out the mouthpiece, pushing it into one of her pockets. She leans down, picking up the rifle. Langly points to one end of the hall. LANGLY Elevator's right over here. Once we're upstairs, we may need to slide back through facial recognition. If so, the three of us should be able to do it no problemo, with our disguises still intact. YVES (smiling) Oh, is that why you're all dressed up like the Blue Man Group? FROHIKE Cram it, sister. You haven't got the chromakey hue on you, so if we need to go through the scanners, you'll have to share a tube with one of us. YVES I doubt that will be a concern. They should have no need to scan someone leaving, if everyone is scanned while entering. They start to walk towards the elevator. Langly looks over at Yves curiously. LANGLY Say, how DID you and the fun-boys get through the scanner? Yves sighs. YVES The man who's after me was in the database. He pushed everyone through. BYERS Individually? YVES (smirking) It was a very slow process. They step up to the elevator. Frohike pushes the call button. LANGLY That doesn't make sense. If he works for Fenix Atlantic, why should he have to break into the vault? FROHIKE Maybe he doesn't have enough rank for the clearance. BYERS I think that's the least of our problems right now. The elevator arrives. The doors open. CUT TO - INT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - HALLWAY Morris Fletcher is leaning against a wall in what appears to be a blank white hallway. He's obviously still growing increasingly frustrated. A team of the Polite Man's men rush past him. This seems to pique Morris' interest. MORRIS (to guard at rear) Hey... HEY! The guard in the back of the guard (GUARD #2) turns towards him. GUARD #2 Sir? MORRIS Any luck yet? Finding my disk, I mean. The guard shakes his head. GUARD #2 No sir. We've split up, already combed half the floors. Things seem completely empty. Morris nods, his face going back to his annoyed expression. The guard turns and heads off. CUT TO - EXT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - NIGHT Jimmy's Trans Am pulls back up. This time, Jimmy's driving, with Kimmy as the passenger. LEGEND indicates: FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION WASHINGTON, D.C. 12:32 A.M. The engine cuts off, and the two men get out of the car, moving with a purpose. They step up to the front gate, a chain-link fence with a keypad. JIMMY All right. You said you can hack into this thing? KIMMY A monkey with a brain hemmhorage could hack into this thing. Gets trickier from here, though. Jimmy nods as Kimmy leans down and gets to work. KIMMY And what are you gonna do once you're in? Assuming you ever get in, that is. JIMMY (sarcastic) You saying you can't do it? KIMMY Oh, I can do it, poindexter. But I figure you're about two seconds from getting security all over your ass. The gate slides open. Jimmy nods. JIMMY That's kind of the idea. Kimmy stands up to his full height again. He pats Jimmy on the shoulder as he speaks. KIMMY Well, in that case... I'll wait in the car. Kimmy turns and jogs off, as Jimmy watches, looking a little dismayed at the desertion. Regardless, he heads for the main door that marks the entrance. Once there, he straightens himself up before - uh, pounding loudly on the door. Metallic echoes can be heard inside. JIMMY HEY! LET MY FRIENDS OUT OF THERE! HEEEEY! He bangs some more. Sure enough, the door swings open to reveal a guard (GUARD #3), toting a rifle. The guard levels the rifle at Jimmy, and smirks. GUARD #3 Get inside. Jimmy nods obediently, stepping in. INT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - SMALL ROOM It's the same tiny, rectangular room that the Gunmen were in when they entered the building. The guard pushes Jimmy in front of him, closing the outer door behind him, and moves him towards the other door... And the inner door swings open. Morris Fletcher steps through it. Jimmy looks directly at him. We can't tell if he's annoyed or relieved. Maybe both. FADE OUT END ACT I OPEN ACT II FADE IN INT FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - SMALL ROOM Everything is as we left it. Jimmy is facing Morris. Morris nods to the guard. MORRIS Uh, you go on in. I'll handle this one. Just... gimme your sidearm, will you? The guard nods, handing a pistol to Fletcher. The guard then goes through the inner door, leaving Morris and Jimmy alone in the tight quarters. Morris glances around the small space, holding the pistol on Jimmy, looking over the walls as though in admiration. MORRIS Blondie said that these walls are all soundproof. The inner metal walls, anyway. You think that's true? Now Jimmy just looks annoyed. JIMMY Did you need something? MORRIS Actually, yeah. And I'm betting that even your ape-ish brain knows what it is. Jimmy nods. JIMMY Yeah. Your stupid disk. Morris nods back, grinning. MORRIS (grinning) My stupid disk, yes. Seems like this place has been wiped clean. No sign of anything. You, uh... wouldn't happen to know where it is, would you? Jimmy is silent for a beat. Then - JIMMY Maybe. Morris grins even wider. MORRIS (grinning) Good, good. So, why don't you... JIMMY (interrupting) It's not on me. Morris' face falls. MORRIS Really. Jimmy nods once more. JIMMY It's outside. My friend in the car has it. But he'll only give it over to me. Alone. If he sees anyone else leave the building, he'll drive off. Morris purses his lips. MORRIS I... see. JIMMY Release my friends. The guys, and Yves. And I'll go and get it for you. Morris is about to say something, when the door behind him opens up. He startles slightly, then turns to see GUARD #3 re-entering. This doesn't particularly thrill him. MORRIS WHAT is it?! The guard leans in close to Morris' ear. He removes his traditional black mask, so that he can more easily whisper to Morris. CLOSE ON - MORRIS AND GUARD #3 The guard whispers so that only Morris can hear - Jimmy is watching, but doesn't know what's being said. GUARD #3 (whispering) The prisoners have escaped. Morris just rolls his eyes. MORRIS (whisper) Do I look like I care? Go deal with it. The guard nods and turns to go. PULL BACK Back to a regular frame, Morris speaks in his normal tone of voice now to Jimmy. MORRIS He's, uh, going to get them. It'll just be a minute. So, you wanna go get the disk? Jimmy remains steadfast. JIMMY Soon as I know they're safe. MORRIS (annoyed) This isn't a football game, Chuckles. I've got a date in... (checking watch) ...three hours. A redhead. And my god, if you only knew the measurements this one - JIMMY (interrupting) I said, as soon as I know. Okay? Now Morris looks nervous. This isn't going to work. CUT TO - INT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - SCANNING ROOM Guard #3 is seen walking away from the steel door. He's in the same room where the Gunmen had to pass through the scanner on the way in. He steps over to the open facial recognition tube, and looks through. Both the entry and the exit door to the transparent tube sit open, just as the Gunmen left it after they passed through. This allows Guard #3 to easily speak to the man on the opposite side of the tube, Guard #4, who stands in front of the elevator door. Just like #3, #4 is relaxing a bit, his mask off. GUARD #3 Fletcher says deal with it. Guard #4 shakes his head. GUARD #4 Yeah, that's one hell of an order. Why're we reporting to him, anyway? #3 shrugs. GUARD #3 'cause we don't know where the big man is. GUARD #4 So, you comin'? Guard #3 grins at him. GUARD #3 Can't. You know well as I do that these tubes only allow one round trip. In and out. No way my face would make it through the scanner. Guard #4 smiles and nods. Then, a ding is heard from behind him. He spins, pointing his rifle at the elevator at his back. GUARD #4 The hell? GUARD #3 You didn't call it? GUARD #4 I most definitely did not. The doors to the elevator open up. It's empty. GUARD #4 Whoa. Spookular. Curious, Guard #4 steps into the elevator, pointing his gun around at the elevator walls. Back on the other side of the facial recognition tube, Guard #3 shakes his head. GUARD #3 Man, don't do that! Guard #4 turns back towards him, peering out at him from within the elevator. GUARD #4 What? GUARD #3 Man, ain't you ever seen a movie before? You just know there's gonna be someone up on the roof or somethin' like that. Guard #3 laughs at his own joke, slinging his rifle over his shoulder casually. Guard #4 chuckles, too, and shakes his head. He turns back towards the inside of the elevator, and steps in deeper, towards the center. GUARD #4 Man, you are the stupidest... CRASH! You guessed it, he's interrupted when the main grate overhead comes crashing down from the ceiling, with Yves on top of it. Our heroes ARE on the roof. She slams onto Guard #4 with the grate, then sees Guard #3 outside, on the other side of the tube. GUARD #3 HOLY - ! He moves to unsling his gun, but Yves pulls up her own. A beat. Guard #3 freezes. He thinks he's finished. Instead, Yves SPITS, and the mouth dart flies out of the elevator, through the tube, and buries itself in his forehead, knocking him back into the steel wall with a metallic BANG! He's paralyzed. Peering out from the elevator cautiously, Yves looks around for more guards, then turns towards the hole in the elevator ceiling, helping the Gunmen down. YVES All clear. CUT TO - INT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - SMALL ROOM BANG! Morris and Jimmy are still here, and both are startled by the sound. It's the same metallic bang we just heard - the sound of Guard #3's body slamming back into the steel wall. MORRIS (nervous) Uh, that must be them now. Jimmy looks suspicious. JIMMY How can you tell? Morris smiles casually, regaining his cool. MORRIS I just know these things. See, watch... He turns, opening the steel door behind him just a crack. Leaning towards the crack in the doorway, he yells out. MORRIS HEY! THAT YOU, FREAK BOYS?! FROHIKE (distant, O.S.) Fletcher?! I am gonna - SLAM! Morris shuts the door again, quickly. MORRIS See? Now, go get that disk. Jimmy sighs, then moves his hand down. He reaches into his pants - no, not his pocket, but into his PANTS - and pulls out the disk. Morris grins, as though in disbelief, as Jimmy hands it to him. JIMMY There. Morris pockets it quickly. MORRIS (grinning) I thought you said - JIMMY (interrupting) I know. I lied. (quick beat) Sorry. Then, the door behind Morris flings open! Of course, we're not too surprised when it reveals the Gunmen, plus Yves. LANGLY FLETCHER! Langly and Frohike both grab Morris immediatly, slamming him up into the wall. JIMMY Guys! Yves quickly slams Fletcher across the jaw with the butt of the rifle, then grabs him by the back of his suit, tossing him back through the door, into the scanning room! JIMMY GUYS! Morris quickly pushes himself up and stumbles back to his feet, tripping towards the door... Byers shoves the metal door shut, and everybody turns to look at Jimmy. FROHIKE What? JIMMY (pointing at door) HE HAS THE DISK! A quick, silent beat as that sinks in. Then, in that cramped space, the Gunmen and Yves all manage to turn back towards the door simultaneously, just as - On the door's card scanner, a red light blinks on. Too late. FROHIKE (disbelief) He locked us out. YVES DAMN IT! The four of them all turn back to face Jimmy LANGLY Why in the HELL did you bring it here IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Jimmy looks down, embarrassed. BYERS GUYS! Calm down! We have to get out of here! YVES Byers is right. As soon as Fletcher gets downstairs, there's sure to be reinforcements on the way. FROHIKE (to Jimmy) Is the VW still out front? Jimmy nods. BYERS Then let's go. And they all exit. EXT. FENIX ATLANTIC CORPORATION - NIGHT As we watch our group of five running for the front gate and out, towards the cars. Yves tosses down the rifle on the way out, discarding the evidence. In Jimmy's car, Kimmy pokes his head out of the driver's seat window. KIMMY What the hell took you so long?! CUT TO - INT. GUNMEN HQ - NIGHT The door swings open, and our group of now-six steps in. LANGLY (to Yves) You sure we weren't followed? YVES I told you, I'm sure. LANGLY Well you'd better be. I've had enough fun for one night. Yves shoots him a dirty look as they all step into the circle of computers. Kimmy sits at one of the chairs. Frohike and Langly at the others. The other three stand, forming a circle of six. As they speak, Frohike, Byers, and Langly are picking the pink dots off of their faces. FROHIKE All right, now let's cut the crap - what the hell WERE you thinking, Jimmy?! All eyes are on Jimmy now. JIMMY That I wanted to save all of you. LANGLY Yeah, well, we were doing fine without your "help." Jimmy shakes his head. JIMMY But I didn't know that. And the way I see it, your lives are more important than any kind of information on any disk. A long, quiet beat. Everyone still looks unhappy with what happened, but they can't bring themselves to feel mad at Jimmy anymore. FROHIKE Well, it's gone now. Byers lets out a resolved sigh. BYERS Yeah... by now, Mr. Fletcher is sure to be out of the city. Jimmy rolls his eyes. JIMMY (sarcastic) Not unless he wants to miss his "date." Now all eyes are on Jimmy again. LANGLY (curious) His date? Jimmy nods. JIMMY Some... redhead. He said it was in three hours or something. Now everyone looks even more interested in what Jimmy's saying. This could be going somewhere. YVES Three hours from when, Jimmy? Jimmy's finally getting it. He thinks hard for a moment, his brow furrowed. JIMMY From when he was... getting the disk from me. When we heard you guys in the next room. Byers checks his watch. BYERS That gives us two and a half hours. LANGLY To do what? We don't even know where he's going! YVES The hotel. All the guys look at her. BYERS You think he'd go back there? YVES I don't think, I know. When I first got the information about Fletcher, I was told that he was in town for a conference at that hotel. A very private, secret conference. One where all of its members were under orders not to leave the building except under emergency circumstances. (beat) I doubt he ever planned to leave that hotel until his disk was stolen. FROHIKE Yeah, but c'mon - do you really think he'd go back? YVES It would actually be fairly clever. What better place to hide than in the most obvious of locations? If he hadn't let anything slip to Jimmy, we never would've thought that he would return there. Jimmy smiles. LANGLY But now that he let it out, he has to know there's a chance that he's in trouble. I mean, c'mon. Would Morris Fletcher endanger sensitive materials just for the sake of getting it on with some chick? All eyes turn towards Langly. They just look at him. Waiting for it to hit him. Langly smirks. LANGLY (smirking) Right. Stupid question. BYERS Let's get to work. By now, the guys have the pink dots off of their faces. Langly and Frohike head off, and start to scrub off the blue dye with turpintine in the background. Kimmy stands up, easing his way towards the door. YVES I'll need to get some things. FROHIKE (over his shoulder) Go for it. Call us and we'll meet up later. KIMMY Yeah, well, since you guys are - BYERS (interrupting) Actually, Kimmy, I think we may need your help, too. Kimmy shakes his head. KIMMY Thanks, but no thanks, man. I've done enough for you guys. Especially enough of the stuff that risks my neck for no good reason. That's my least favorite kind of stuff. For the record. BYERS It won't be life-threatening. Kimmy continues to head out. KIMMY Don't care! I've done enough. Byers is looking pretty exasperated with this guy already. BYERS We can make it worth your while. Kimmy raises an eyebrow. KIMMY Really? How? BYERS Just... somehow... KIMMY The Octium 4 chip. Byers looks at him like he's nuts. BYERS No way. KIMMY I don't want to TAKE it, I just want to look at it. (beat) Research, y'know? Gotta see what kind of goodies the big boys are coming up with to deter fellas like me. BYERS It's almost a year old now, Kimmy. I'm sure there's many much more relevant technologies... KIMMY Nothing else has been made that can read and send material from a personal computer. That's an Octium speciality, fellas. One that you guys uncovered. Byers considers this. A long beat. BYERS 15 minutes. KIMMY Oh, come on. I want to look at it for at least an hour. BYERS Not a chance. That chip is evidence. We need it intact in case they ever try to create a similar item in the future. Byers turns away... KIMMY Okay, okay! 45. Byers turns back. Looks directly at him. In the background, Frohike and Langly have scrubbing off the dye - it's only half gone - and are now watching this exchange with great interest. BYERS Thirty. KIMMY I need more than half an hour. 40. Byers considers this for a beat. BYERS Deal. LANGLY What the hell do you need him so much for, anyway? FROHIKE Yeah Byers, what's the big idea? BYERS I just think we're going to need a good backup plan. Just in case. Frohike and Langly look at each other. CUT TO - INT. GEORGETOWN PLAZA HOTEL - BAR - NIGHT LEGEND indicates: GEORGETOWN PLAZA HOTEL WASHINGTON, D.C. 4:00 A.M. A woman sits at the bar, checking her watch. Her red hair falls onto her shoulders, plus it matches her dress. This is CLARICE. She's not exactly the brightest star in the heavens. A man rushes in behind her. It's Morris. He moves beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder. At this, she turns to look at him. CLARICE (smiling) Hey, Morry. (concerned) You're hurt... She touches a hand to his chin, which is bruised from Yves' rifle hit. He nods quickly, brushing her hand away. He's obviously nervous. MORRIS I'm fine. Listen, honey, why don't we go for a walk - CLARICE But I thought you wanted to talk to me? Privately? MORRIS Well, we can walk and talk at the same time! Hey! Sounds like a full night out, doesn't it? CLARICE Well, where will we go? MORRIS How about out to my car? Then we can add a moonlit drive to the deal, too. Sound fun? Before she can answer, Yves sidles up beside him, putting an arm around him, all smiles. Morris turns to see her, and his face nearly goes pale with recognition. MORRIS You. YVES (happily, American accent) Hi, Morris. (glancing at Clarice) Who's this? Clarice looks from Morris to Yves, confused. CLARICE Morry... who's this woman? Yves looks at Clarice like she's a little girl. Indeed, that does seem to be about her I.Q. YVES (American accent) Why, honey, I'm his wife. Yves then deftly reaches into Morris' back pocket, producing his wedding ring and holding it out for Clarice to see. YVES (American accent) Didn't he tell you? Clarice looks appalled, and, not surprisingly, slaps Morris hard, right in - yup, the jaw. MORRIS OW! Hey! Bruised there, hey? Clarice just stomps off in a huff as Yves watches her go, her arm still around Morris. MORRIS (to Yves) Oh, boy. Are you a dead woman. And I mean, really. Do you have any idea how hard it is to meet a redhead? They're like freakin' gold mines. With her other hand, Yves nudges Morris with something from inside her coat. We don't see it, but it's obviously a gun. YVES (regular voice) Let's go outside. Morris just grins and shakes his head. MORRIS (as though to a child) You're wasting your time. I don't HAVE it, okay? Yves just nudges him again. And out they go, into the hallway. INT. GEORGETOWN PLAZA HOTEL - HALLWAY - NIGHT Yves directs Morris towards the front door, escorting him outside. EXT. GEORGETOWN PLAZA HOTEL - NIGHT And out onto the sidewalk. Guess what's waiting at the curb? The door to the VW Bus slides open to reveal Langly and Frohike, smiling. There's no more blue on these faces. Morris climbs in with Yves. INT. VW BUS - BACK - NIGHT Yves sits Morris down. FROHIKE Welcome back, Skeezix. Morris grins and shakes his head. MORRIS You're such imbeciles that I'm starting to have trouble putting it into words. I think maybe I'm repeating myself. Have I used imbeciles yet? Wordlessly, Yves pulls out a syringe and injects Morris in the arm. MORRIS Ow! He promptly passes out, dropping to the floor. She moves down beside him and starts scrounging through his pockets. FROHIKE Byers, get us gone. Byers, up in front, (and also no longer blue) nods and the bus drives off, Yves continuing her search. LANGLY Anything? Yves looks up, her face in dismay. YVES Nothing. FROHIKE I guess that means it's time for plan B. The three in the back share a look. FADE OUT END ACT II OPEN ACT III FADE IN INT. ABANDONED BUILDING - NIGHT CLOSE ON - Morris Fletcher is seated and chained to a metal chair. He's slumped over, unconscious. Suddenly, a hand reaches into frame, holding a jar of smelling salts. It swings the jar beneath Morris' nose, startling him awake. FROHIKE Wakey-wakey, sunshine. PULL BACK - We see now that the room is big. Dirty concrete, massive. It's gotta be a good thirty yards deep, but only 10 or so wide. Morris' back is up against one wall, but our three boys standing in front of him. Along the wall where Morris is, the room expands out, past the side walls, into two darkened hallways on either side. There's a large, empty expanse behind the Gunmen where the majority of the empty room is. And we see a door over on the far wall, too. Frohike shoves the jar back into his pocket as Morris looks up to see the Gunmen. MORRIS Oh. Oh boy. You guys seriously have no idea how much dead you're going to be. I swear, this time, the whole shooting-in-the-head thing? It's goin' down. In fact, I might just have you all killed twice just to be EXTRA sure. BYERS We don't think so. MORRIS (not very concerned) Really. LANGLY We've got a surprise for you. MORRIS Oh? FROHIKE Absolutely. Some old friends of yours want to say hi. BYERS We simply couldn't hold them back. The door on the far end of the room opens, to reveal... women. A line of them, slowly entering. There's got to be at least 15 of them, maybe more. All dressed quite nicely. All beautiful. All carrying automatic weapons. Fletcher's eyes go wide. MORRIS (surprised) What... what in the - FROHIKE (innocently) Don't you recognize them? I mean, they all know you. LANGLY Yeah, in the biblical sense. The women form a perfect line, standing 10 yards away, all pointing their weapons directly at Morris. And then, the yelling starts. They all seem to talk over each other, all SHOUTING at him. WOMAN #1 MORRIS! WOMAN #2 YOU SON OF A BITCH! WOMAN #3 HOW COULD YOU?! WOMAN #4 I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! ...etc, etc. Morris is flabbergasted. He begins to shake slightly, looking back and forth, from one woman to the next. MORRIS (shaking) They're... they're going to kill me. The Gunmen just nod. LANGLY (not caring) Pretty much. FROHIKE It really wasn't all that hard rounding them up. Not as much as you'd think. I mean, when we told them that we could hand you over to them... (chuckling) ...they were practically SALIVATING. BYERS (smiling) Like hungry wolves. Now, Morris looks up to the boys. He's genuinely afraid. MORRIS (scared) Guys... guys... you gotta get me outta this... Langly looks right at him, and smiles. LANGLY (smiling) Why the hell should WE care? FROHIKE Yeah, Mr. Shoot-'Em-All-In-The-Head. Morris shakes his head. MORRIS (scared) But... you can't just let them KILL me! Byers shrugs. BYERS Keeps you from killing us. LANGLY We don't like loose ends. FROHIKE Of course... we MIGHT be willing to make a trade. Morris smiles, sweating. MORRIS (scared) Yeah, sure. Whatever. Name it! Suddenly, the women STOP shouting. They all continue to scowl, weapons still trained on Fletcher. The guys all lean down towards Fletcher's face. Ready to do business. LANGLY We want you off our backs. FROHIKE Permanently. BYERS AND we want the disk. Morris, grinning nervously, shakes his vigorously. MORRIS (scared) I told you, I don't HAVE the disk! Now it's Frohike's turn to shrug. FROHIKE (not caring) Whatever. (to women) All right, ladies. MORRIS (very scared) OKAY, OKAY! Byers raises his hand to the women, as if commanding them to hold back. MORRIS (scared) It's... it's in a locker. At Dulles. Number 416. LANGLY Combination? Morris looks at him, hesitating. LANGLY Those trigger fingers have GOT to be getting itchy. MORRIS (scared) 31 right, 12 left, 17 right! The Gunmen all smile. Frohike pats Morris on the cheek. FROHIKE That wasn't so bad, now, was it? Morris is still eying the lineup of extremely pissed-off women with guns. MORRIS (scared) Aren't you gonna tell them to stand down?! BYERS We don't have to. Morris squints now, looking at the women. Examining them. MORRIS (nervous) I don't... I don't recognize them. BYERS (calling out) Yves? Out from the one of the side hallways walks Yves, carrying her own automatic weapon. MORRIS Oh, no, not you, too... She raises the gun, aiming at - the line of women. And she fires, a sweeping hail of bullets from right to left, spraying across the entire line. One by one, from right to left, each woman in the lineup DISAPPEARS into a haze of blue static. Morris blinks. What the hell was that? FROHIKE (calling out) Okay, Kimmy! The background fades. Everything behind the Gunmen - the entire rest of the massive room - vanishes. In its place, we're now in a much cleaner, much smaller space. Morris' jaw just hangs open. He's shaking. Again. LANGLY Welcome to the Virtual Shooting Range. FROHIKE Fully photorealistic, 3D characters, available for combat in a variety of virtual environments. You were just experiencing a slightly altered version of their "Deadly Vixens" scenario. Kimmy steps out from the dark hallways now. We realize now that those "hallways" are the areas where players stand to fire at the targets in the traditional setup. LANGLY It's all projected onto what's essentially a holographic flatscreen, but the depth you get when you're looking right at it is unparalleled. You'd swear it was real. FROHIKE And you did, didn't you? Morris still can't speak. He's been beaten, and he can't believe it. His jaw is still agape. LANGLY Yves, Kimmy and I are all regulars here. We've gotten to know the software pretty well. Kimmy scoffs. KIMMY "Pretty well"? Like the back of my damn hand, pal. Frohike walks up to Morris, patting him on the shoulder, all smiles. FROHIKE (smiling) So long, Shemp. We'll leave you to your peace now. Our heroes turn to head out, just as Jimmy emerges from the side hallways. JIMMY (grinning) Aw, man! TOTALLY badass, guys! Byers pats him on the shoulder as they turn him back around, leading him out with them. As they head out, Yves nods her own approval. YVES Indeed it was... And they're gone, leaving Morris there. Still chained to the metal chair against the wall. Still blown away. And still slightly shaking. CUT TO - INT. DULLES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY LEGEND says: DULLES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT WASHINGTON, D.C. 6:04 A.M. The early morning sun is streaming in through the windows. Yves walks in casually, carrying a laptop under her arm. She turns, walking alongside a series of lockers on her left. She stops and turns, facing one. Number 416 is clearly etched on the top of this one. With ease, she dials in the combination. It pops open. And there's just one thing inside. Yves pulls out the disk, stepping over to bench, and unfolds her laptop. She pops open her drive and slides it in, reading it. She smiles. YVES (to no one) Boys? CUT TO - INT. VW BUS - DAY Outside, in the van, we see the guys. Frohike is in the driver's seat, with the others in back - minus Kimmy, who's obviously finally been dropped off. Over a radio, we hear Yves' voice. YVES (over radio) We've got it. The guys all grin. Jimmy high-fives Langly, much to Langly's own surprise. CUT TO - INT. GUNMEN HQ - DAY The door swings open, and the four boys enter, beaming. BYERS (smiling) I still can't believe it. LANGLY (grinning) Mulder's gonna have KITTENS. FROHIKE (smiling) A full disinformation list. Exactly the kinda stuff he needs to separate the real X-Files from the fakes. JIMMY (grinning and nodding) Good guys win, bad guys lose. I'd say that pretty much straightens everything out. Langly goes to sit at his computer, leaning back in his chair. LANGLY (smiling) Yup! I mean, I did lose a laptop to those goons, but on the plus, I don't think we'll be hearing from Morris Fletcher again. We sure rattled him. FROHIKE And got his goods. JIMMY (smiling) Yup. And the guy that was after Yves didn't get her, either. The Gunmen stop. Turn towards Jimmy. Faces fall back to normal. BYERS What's that, Jimmy? Jimmy shrugs nonchalantly. JIMMY You know, the guy. Whoever he was. I never saw him exactly, but Yves said he was after her. You know? The three Gunmen exchange looks. FROHIKE Uh, no. We don't know. LANGLY She never mentioned anything. (beat, realizing) She DID lie to us! Jimmy stands up, attempting to take command. JIMMY Hey, HEY! She didn't lie to you! You knew about the disk, right? LANGLY So? She didn't tell us the whole story! JIMMY Probably because she knew you guys would start BUGGING her about it! Langly shakes his head. LANGLY Man, we've gotta find out what she's hiding. We've gotta look into her. JIMMY (sarcastic) Oh, like you did the last time?! The guys turn towards Jimmy again. Faces fallen. Maybe he's right. JIMMY (calmer) Listen. Just yesterday, you guys were going after Yves, trying to bust her for something, and you turned up squat. Yves told me that this guy was after her, and that all we need to know is that she won't turn herself over to him. Maybe that should be enough. I mean, this guy was after you, too. Yves helped you get away from him. She even helped us get the disk. Whoever he is... it doesn't matter. He's obviously bad, right? I mean, don't you guys think Yves has earned her privacy on this one? The Gunmen look to each other. A silent beat. BYERS I think maybe he's right. Langly nods, grudgingly. FROHIKE Yves can have her privacy. She's earned it. LANGLY (nodding) For now. CUT TO - INT. ANTIQUE SHOP - DAY Yves strides in, past the clay pots and old crafts along the shelves and walls. She steps up to the counter, and rings the bell. From the back emerges a familiar face - the very same man that Yves met just yesterday at the Smithsonian Acqusition Department. The same scraggly hair, same bow tie. We'll know him as the PROFESSOR. The Professor smiles good-naturedly at Yves. PROFESSOR May I help you? YVES I understand you've gotten some rare crafts in from the Northwest. Native American. The Professor nods. PROFESSOR Yes. They're in the back. Yves heads back, the Professor leading the way, into a secluded room. INT. ANTIQUE SHOP - BACK ROOM - DAY They step in, the Professor locking the door behind her. YVES (cold) Will you be ratting me out this time? The Professor folds his hands, smiling like an indulgent parent. PROFESSOR (good-naturedly) Your loyalties were becoming questionable. You do understand. Yves remains steadfast for a beat... but finally, nods, ever so slightly. PROFESSOR Good. Because they're still in question. (beat) I understand you obtained the package. Gave it away. YVES You know why. PROFESSOR I know it was pointless. Mulder has been ruffling too many feathers at the FBI since his... return. YVES I wasn't told. The Professor shakes his head. PROFESSOR No. Which isn't the point. The point is, you once again have come to see me with a distinct lack of product. Yves reaches into her pocket. Produces something. A small computer disk. YVES You were saying. The Professor steps closer, taking it from her hand. He holds it up. Examining it. PROFESSOR Is this... ? YVES I copied the files onto my hard drive the moment I obtained the package. Everything there is identical. The Professor nods. He's silent, but impressed. YVES There's your product. She turns for the door, swinging it open. She steps through, but before shutting it, turns back to face the Professor. YVES One last thing. (beat, hard) Don't question me again. She shuts the door, leaving the Professor there, staring after her. FADE TO BACK CREDITS END